Due to the nececcity of sleep, i have ben unable to write new songs for this year, so here are the original ones from 2007
Yellow Snow
to teh tune of “Silver Bells”
Yellow snow, Yellow snow, It’s wintertime in the city
Walk your dog, leave a log, It’s wintertime everywhere
On the sidewalk where you and I walk, they leave everything there
though its frozen Its still quite a hazard
People pass it, from the basset
No you can’t eat that snow,
Its not lemon, but something much worse
((repeat first verse))
Silent Dwight
to the tune of “Silent Night”
Silent Dwight
Holey Dwight
all is lost
this sad night
mommy threw the poor socky away
he was so stinky no one came to say
sleep in heavenly peace
sleep in heavenly peace
O Eggi-nog
to the tune of “O christmas tree”
((useful for repelling cavemen))
O eggi-nog
O eggi-nog
your flavor is repulsive
O eggi-nog
O eggi-nog
the pain is so convulsive
don’t want to see you on my plate
I’d rather eat the old fruitcake
O eggi-nog
O eggi-nog
your flavor is repulsive
We three nings
to the tune of “We Three kings”
We three nings of mumfordland are
tried to smoke a cuban cigar
we got cancer and died faster
now we no longer are
cigarettes are stinky and un-great
you will meet an awful fate
if you smoke them you will croak
so stop before it is too late
I’m Telling on my Sibling
to the tune of “Go tell it on the mountain”
I’m telling on my sibling*
they’ve done everything they can to bother me
I’m telling on my sibling*
my parents need to know
they peeked in all the presents sitting underneath the tree
they need coal in their stocking, but get toys like you and me
((sing first verse again))
*may be replaced with brother or sister
Wreck the walls
to the tune of deck the halls
wreck the walls with brother ollie
muahahaha-haha-ha-ha
’tis the season to trick polly
muahahaha-haha-ha-ha
but there’s no coal in my stocking
Muahaha-hahaha-ha-ha-ah
‘Cause it’s santa who is talking
muahahahaha-haha-ha-ha
Teh new year’s song
to the tune of auld lang syne
my parents let me stay up late, drink non-alchoholic wine
I’m waiting for the ball to drop
I think It’s almost time
for it is new years eve my friend
today is new years eve
go bang a pot, wake neighbors up
for it is new years time
and now for a visit from st. nicholas
T’was the night before Christmas and all through the house,
not a creature was stirring except for a mouse.
He was making some eggnog for a fake Santa Claus,
hoping he finally could disprove the fraud.
He put in some egg, he added some nog,
he cooked it a bit over a flaming log.
He added the final ingredient at last,
some potion for sleeping—he put it in fast.
Up on the rooftop he heard a great thump,
and into a glass the potion he dumped.
He set it on the mantle, next to a stocking,
and froze on the spot when he heard someone talking.
“Why do we have to go up on the roof?”
“To fool the kids; they won’t have any proof.”
The mouse crept behind a nativity scene,
And took out his weapon, a dried up green bean.
A slither in the chimney, a crash in the grate,
And out came the Santa, not a minute too late.
The eyes of a child peered out from the stairs,
But St. Nick continued his work unawares.
He put money in one stocking, right up to the brim,
and coal in the ones that did not belong to him.
The other voice yelled, “Are you done Billy Bob?”
So Santa gulped the eggnog then fell like a dog.
“Just one minute” he mumbled already asleep,
And the other voice grumbled and pounded its feet.
Then the mouse did go back into its hole,
Thinking the action was done, into bed he did roll.
The kid went to bed, sucking its thumb,
This story could be over but it’s not yet done.
A clatter of hooves, the thump of a sled,
The tiny small mouse flew out of his bed.
The true Santa came down the chimney, landing in the fireplace,
Stepped out looking happy, although ashen-faced.
He said to the other, crumpled up on the floor,
“You’ll wish you had never done this before.
And he took the coal stockings, dumped them onto the fraud,
Covering the face of un-poor Billy Bob.
He filled the stockings up to the brim with toys,
But only the ones for the good girls and boys.
For Billy Bob was a boy, who lived in that house,
And he always was trying to catch the poor mouse,
By taking advantage of his little sis,
He didn’t have a very merry Christmas.
Our story ends here, it really is done,
Be sure to be good, but still have some fun.
If you obey and stay in good cheer,
You may hear Santa shout
“Have a happy new year”!
yays!
